Belong
by Sparkly-elf
Summary: The past can be painful, but she never got back what mattered most to her...


**Disclaimer:** I don't own SDK.

**Summary: **I won't give anything away, it's a drabble about the past, so read on…

**Belong **

No one ever asked me the way it started. No one ever really bothered to. All the lies I said, the stories I spun on the spur of them moment, nothing could be further from the truth.

But I never told a lie about you, beloved. Your face, your beautiful sharp featured face, your deep tenor voice that was so low it almost growled, sighs that escaped in butterflies over your perfect bow shaped lips. Pastel pink lips, so masculine in appearance, curved into a snarl and Kami knows your smile made me ache, snarl or smirk; I was yours when I saw those lips curl. Or your skin, perhaps? Sun drenched skin, dark and calloused and scarred, but unbelievably soft to touch, silk and satin, complete sin. Or that long hair, long and red, yet black like the most sugary sweet liquorice, black like the night sky, black… Not a single lie

Your eyes? Well, they just spoke for themselves….

And the way I spoke of you.

A murderer.

A heathen.

A heretic.

And so… so _beautiful_. If only words could describe…

So how did I come to know you as this? A god? An angel?

A… demon?

I remember all the times from the very beginning. During the war, I was only sixteen. Young, innocent, naive… and you came one day, with your demon band. I remember fire and ice, I remember a huge hulking figure in the dark, a small petite figure was gone in a flash, and your vicious stare from across the hall of the temple.

The second I gazed back into those Blood irises, I was taken. Completely and utterly. Drawn and quartered, beheaded, hung, dismembered, whatever. I was all of these, and yet alive. Still alive.

You burned my house of God. You killed my sisters. You destroyed my village and killed all in your wake. You made sure that I had nothing, and that the only thing I needed at that moment was **_help_**. Help from you!

You took me with you. You called it saving my life; I called it sparing my life. Either way, I was in debt to you. A debt that I could not repay, not with money or blood or time, nothing.

And yet…

I was safe. And _happy_. Yes _happy_.

Your eyes, oh your beautiful, beautiful glowing red eyes. Like fire and blood and roses and strawberries and poison all at once.

Your fire burned me.

Your blood ran through me.

Your roses cut me.

Your strawberries tempted me.

Your poison made me… only yours.

As soon as you wiped the blood splatter from my eyes with your calloused thumbs and threw my frail body over your broad shoulder, I was yours. The others asked no questions, simply took it in their stride that I was there and nothing more. When I awoke from my sleep, you stood over me, piercing glare cutting far deeper than your sword, straight through my heart, right into my soul.

I smiled at you. Your lips curled in approval, and then spoke.

"Give me your name."

Not _what is your name_. Not _how are you called_. _Give me_, take it, take it all!

So greedy…

"Izumo No Okuni…"

I already knew his name, the legend, all that he was. And the fear, the fear was too much… even worse when he glared down at my fragile body.

Those lips moved only slightly, uttering a single syllable that changed me forever.

"Mine."

It was as though _mine_ was my new name. I gave it to him. Told him to take it, take my soul! I didn't need it! I wasn't using it! Take it Kyo, take it all!

And it hurt so much, but he took it anyway. He could have snapped me in two with that powerful body, but I held on, gritted my teeth and let him take me.

It only hurts a little with you, Kyo…

Even before that, I was his. He carried me all the way like baggage, just another tool, like a bedroll or a sword. And I stayed; I never tried to run away, because I wanted to stay with you. I wanted you to… to…

I couldn't even so much as look at another man without you seeing me.

I had to cast but an eye at your fire-wielding comrade and just as soon as he left the room, your hand was on my neck and my back was against the wall.

And the fear, Kami the unrelenting fear.

The fear of those lips pushed hard against mine, your hand pulling my neck up so my feet left the floor, other hand pushing my waist against the wall. I was choking and my heart was pounding, but I should have known better than to so much as blink at the flame user.

"You just remember who you belong to." You would snarl after pulling away, choking, hard hands for a hard man.

And you would kiss me again, with no amount of gentleness.

"Say it, bitch. To whom do you belong to?"

I would say nothing, tongue tied in fear and utter regret, pent up with lust and excitement.

Your mouth would crush mine again, painful, hard, unforgiving, just like you…

"Y-you…" I stammered through a closed throat.

And you made me say it again and again. Over and over, like a mantra while you took my body in no way that tried to be soft and loving.

I was yours.

Yours.

No one else.

Poison Kyo, poison.

Kami help me, you were my poison.

… And I died without your poison to sustain me.

It was sudden, and believe me, we were all surprised. The day you left was the day I lost my soul. You didn't… you didn't take me with you. I need my soul Kyo, I need it to live.

You were never gentle Kyo, but _this_, this went beyond you…

No love… no love left for Okuni… nothing that can make it better.

No love…

No love…

No love…

No love…

So I made you hate. I made you hate me so much, that only you would hate me. A heart that burned with anger, then burned with hate and it brought me so much joy to see your eyes flare again…

No love…

I lost you your body, I joined your enemies, I spied on your closest friends and tried to get them killed, I sent that little bitch to your worst enemy's lair and Kami you hated me so much… with all your heart.

You were never gentle Kyo. It only hurt a little with you, Kyo. I'm… I'm always yours, Kyo…

I… I love you… Kyo.

But you never loved me back.

Love is like a poison such

You drink it down, drink too much

But you don't realise your drunken pain

Until it's coursing through your veins.

I love YOU Kyo…

_No love…_

But you never loved me back…


End file.
